How To Unlock the Power of Learning to Listen

9 min read

How To Unlock the Power of Learning to Listen

We are living through unprecedented times. With over 200,000 Americans predicted to die and unemployment rates soaring higher than the Great Depression, it's natural to feel overwhelmed. So, how do we stay sane, not just for ourselves, but for those around us? Listening might be the key.

The Importance of Routine

When the workweek blends into the weekend, maintaining a routine becomes crucial. There's a saying that routine will set you free because it eliminates the willpower needed to sustain a healthy lifestyle. But how can we be there for ourselves and others when everything feels chaotic?

Listening to Fix

On calls with friends who are sad or afraid, I often feel the urge to offer solutions. Have you tried meditation? Maybe some supplements could help. Yet, these suggestions don't always address the root of their pain. Listening to fix focuses on problem-solving rather than truly hearing the other person.

Instead, I choose to say, "Wow, that is really scary, and I'm really sad to hear you're in pain right now." I listen, and I let them know they're being heard. Often, I receive a text later saying thanks for listening—it was really helpful.

Listening to Win

In many conversations, our aim is to win—to convince others that things aren't as bad as they seem. We might say, "At least you still have a job," or "Others have it worse." This approach dismisses their feelings and attempts to sweep the problem under the rug.

Listening to Learn

What if we listened to learn, without trying to resolve anything? Ask questions like, "What are you most worried about?" or "What do you think your priorities should be?" Often, the problem presented is just a symptom of a deeper issue. By staying curious, we can help others uncover the real source of their tension.

Dealing with Our Own Emotions

Many of life's problems stem from suppressing our emotions. If we don't explore our emotions, it's tough to connect with others. By listening to our own feelings, we can better support those around us. Mindfulness can be a powerful tool here.

Try observing your anxiety: "Hmm, I do have a reason to feel anxious." What does it feel like in your body? By giving it your full attention, you might find more peace than any external solution could offer.

The Challenge of Listening

The next time you're in a conversation, challenge yourself to listen and learn. Embrace the feelings, both yours and theirs, with open arms. These challenges will be hard at first, but the long-term emotional well-being will be worth the effort.

For more on emotional intelligence, check out my post on personal growth.

"So if we love someone, we should train in being able to listen. By listening with calm and understanding, we can ease the suffering of another person." ― Thích Nhất Hạnh